an unwelcome path to a perfect destination

thoughts from a girl who was forced out of her comfort zone

Fourteen. That’s what the number on the back of my nametag said at the women’s retreat I was attending at my new church. I knew it represented either a group number or the opportunity to win a door prize. Desperately I was hoping for the door prize. Send me home with a flower, a book or even a cute bracelet. But please, oh, please don’t make me talk to strangers.

I am an extreme introvert. Just going to the retreat and rooming with five women I was still getting to know was a big step for me. The thought of being put into a small group with even more new women was something I thought would surely kill me.

When they announced it was time to play a game I immediately began looking for the exits. Nobody else moved. If I got up and walked out it would have been obvious. Inwardly I groaned. The game was called Fast Friends and I would have to sit in not one but three small groups and chat with strangers that night. My first stop was group fourteen.

Jean E., the leader, seemed friendly as she introduced herself and explained how the group would work. We would go around in a circle and say our names, our hobbies and how long we had been attending the church. Suddenly my mind went blank and I forgot everything I liked to do for fun – everything, that is, but the one thing I normally don’t talk about in large groups of strangers.

When it was my turn I heard myself say, “My name is Shannon, I’ve been at the church since October and I’m a writer, so I like to write.”

“I like to write too,” Jean E. said drawing me out of my shell. “What do you write?” I gulped.

“Non-fiction books for teenage girls,” I said wanting to fall through the floor. I knew what was coming next so I answered before she could ask. “I’ve published ten books in the Christian market.”

Suddenly multiple people wanted to talk to me at once. Thankfully, it quickly became someone else’s turn. I typically don’t talk about writing in first encounters with people because I feel nervous enough already. Talking about what I do tends to draw me into long conversations when I’m already trying my hardest not to hyperventilate.

When it became time to switch groups Jean E. quickly told me about an article she recently published and promised to look for me later during the weekend to talk about writing. I looked forward to it since I prefer one-on-one settings. Sadly, the weekend passed and I never saw her again. But that encounter had fueled my enthusiasm for my new church.

With no way to contact Jean E. – and no recollection of her last name – I went on about my daily life once I got home wondering about her article and where I could find it. A few weeks later, in my quiet time, I asked the Lord to provide a writers’ group for me within my new church. Since writing is lonely business it would be great to have that support. That very day Jean E. emailed me. Thanks to Google she was able to find me easily.

I eagerly responded to her message with an invitation to coffee. She quickly wrote back accepting and inviting me to join a brand new writers’ group she was starting up with some other women in our church who had been published. As soon as I read her message my eyes filled with tears.

God took me outside of my comfort zone when He forced me to play Fast Friends. But He knew what He was doing when He assigned me to start in group fourteen. Little did I know then that I would meet a friend who would become an answer to one of my prayers. God was calling this introvert into community and He did it in the most uncomfortable way.

Great things happen when we follow God outside of our comfort zones. When we trust what we know to be true about Him and choose to ignore our feelings of insecurity or fear, God can take us to places we never dreamed we could go. It was only after God brought me to a place where I didn’t want to be that He could take me to a place I truly longed to be.

The same may be true in your life today. Where is He calling you out of your comfort zone? Will you choose to trust Him or are you going to miss out because you are focused on fear and insecurity?

Resources…

The Bible

Hebrews 11:8 “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”

What Happens When Women Walk In Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

Something Else…

Can you identify with Andy on The Devil Wears Prada as she stepped out of her comfort zone?

Shannon Primicerio really does like people even though meeting them in large groups isn’t her thing. The other hobbies she momentarily forgot include reading, watching baseball and going to the beach. You can learn more about her at www.beingagirlbooks.com

Leave a comment for Shannon here.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Christiana Mustion August 9, 2010 at 9:21 am

Shannon, thanks for sharing! It was a great encouragement for me. Right now I am going through a different and yet similar situation. For me it’s not so much a particular action or thing that God is asking me to do. I believe it’s an idea/fear that God wants me to let go of. Growing up all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. God has graciously given me the wife part of my dreams, but after four and a half years of marriage and one miscarriage I still have not become the mother I always wanted to be. Lately I have found that my fears of never being a mother are strangling my faith and my relationship with God. I think God wants me to let go and realize that I am still just who He wants me to be even if I never have children of my own. He wants me to realize my identity outside of who I have always dreamed of being and that scares me to death. I am afraid that if I let go then I will lose a part of myself. I just don’t know how to move out of this comfort zone. Please pray for me.

Thanks,

Christiana

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Terese August 9, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I know that when God had taken me out of my comfort zone I was a little scared, however I had peace with what I was about to do. I moved from an area in which I was so comfortable and in an area in which I knew no one. I believe that God was telling me long ago but I had allowed fear to get in the way so much. The only thing is, I waited like 10 years later to go…. but God is good and He has showed me a lot since I have been in the new area. I appreciate the fact that the place may be unknown to me and I may not have known many; but God is not unknown to me and goes with me everywhere I go. He promises to “never leave me nor forsake me” and I honor that!! Now I just wait on Him to show me the next step!!!

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Shannon Primicerio August 9, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Christiana: Thanks for sharing your story. I tend to struggle when it comes to wrapping my identity in what I do or in what I have and not in who I am in Christ. Many times it’s in steping out of our comfort zones that God begins to do radical things in our lives. I will pray that God will allow you to let go of your fears and that He will give you a greater portion of Himself as He fulfills His plans for you.

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Cristal August 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Dear Shannon, just wanted to tell you what a blessing it was to read this right now. I know God used your words to speak to me, he’s told me to not be scared of his plans, that i need to surrender completely to him and he will do the rest. I need to trust that he will take care of everything. And great things do happen when we follow God outside of our comfort zones :) God Bless you always.

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Miriam Harrison August 9, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Wow, Thank-you Shannon! That really spoke to me. I have recently had to struggle with giving up what I have thought my life should look like. I’ve always wanted to be a wife and mother, until recently, when I felt God telling me to get used to being single! I hate the thought of being alone, and being single and childless has to be one of my worst nightmares. Giving that desire to Him, and trusting that He knows what He is doing is the only thing that has brought me true peace. GOd has made me for a purpose, and if fullfilling that purpose means being single, I pray that God makes me ready! Thanks Shannon for that word of truth.
Miriam

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Jean E. August 9, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Christiana: I’m so sorry for the difficulty you’re facing. I faced a somewhat similar situation, having always expected and desired to have children, but then slowly discovering that wasn’t to be. I wrote an article for Kyria about my journey to contentment with not being able to have children; I posted the link for you in the hope that it might be helpful. I’m praying for you, Christiana.

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Jean E. August 9, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Shannon: God has definitely been calling me out of my comfort zone the last year, especially in the areas of (a) sharing difficult personal stories with people who don’t know me well; (b) being straightforward when it becomes necessary to talk to a Christian friend caught in unrepentant sin; (c) and more recently, joining a writers’ group. Yes, I’m choosing to step out in trust, though I admit I’ve had some days when it’s been quite a struggle, especially with (a) and (b). I’m glad we met, Shannon. BTW, shortly before the retreat you mentioned above, I had prayed that if God wanted me to write more, would He please send more experienced writers into my life.

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Tonya August 9, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Great post, Shannon! I am the exact same way. Speaking in groups like that makes me panic. I thought I was the only one, sometimes the fear starts days before.
I love the last paragraph you wrote, it relates to so much more than just talking in front of a group. It relates to anything that makes us uncomfortamble in our life. At least it’s making me thinkg about some of the uncomfortable situations God has me in right now. He may be using Him for something great. It’s so important to step back and let Him work in His time and His way.

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Rose August 10, 2010 at 11:02 am

Wow…I needed this today. Thanks, Shannon! A lesson God has been teaching me as well. I am determined to let Him take me through Midian before He takes me back to Egypt and finally to His promised land!!

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Lori August 10, 2010 at 1:00 pm

I love your story… thank you for sharing. Since Fast Friends was my idea, it is good for me to hear your perspective :) I LOVE having you part of our church and serving our women. You bless me to pieces and I know God is going to use you in incredible ways to help us reach out to women with His life changing message. Thank you for being brave and being open to God stretching you. Isn’t it just like our God to use the hard things to bring us great blessings!

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Terese: I can totally relate to wanting to know the next step before I take it! Many times God has to remind me we live by faith and not by site (2 Cor. 5:7). I totally admire your boldness to move to a new place as you followed Him!

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:43 pm

Cristal: I just stopped and prayed that you would not be afraid to follow God into what He has next for you. Remember–His way is perfect (Ps. 18:30).

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Miriam: Thank you for your honesty. There are so many times I have to give up my idea of what I want my life to look like too. I wish it were easier to grasp the concept that God’s ways are higher than our ways (Is. 55:9). I will pray for you as you seek Him in this new season of contentment.

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:46 pm

Jean E.–I had no idea you prayed that just before we met. I love how God works! I am so glad we met–and I love that God took us both out of our comfort zones with the writers’ group!

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Tonya: You are so right. Waiting seasons and uncomfortable seasons are often training grounds for whatever God has for us next :)

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Shannon Primicerio August 10, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Rose: The roads to our promised lands are often long and winding. I’m so glad you are choosing to trust Him all the way :)

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Hope August 11, 2010 at 8:58 am

Your post is SO timely. I just resigned from my current Nursing job & am now looking for a new one. I am considering Home Health and have anxiety…where will it lead ?? Can I really do it ?? Will I find a job before the money runs out ?? This is the 2nd post I read I’ve read in last 2 days– about going beyond your comfort zone–not putting up boundaries. I always thought boundaries kept me save/secure from others–but I am seeing they are keeping me in……

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Shannon Primicerio August 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Lori: Thank you for choosing to play Fast Friends. You are so right. I love how God uses the things that make us uncomfortable to bless us in the end :) I love serving alongside you.

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Shannon Primicerio August 11, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Hope: You just took a BIG step of faith. It sounds like God has you on one exciting adventure. Please keep me posted on how that unfolds. God is faithful and He will meet you in amazing ways on this journey. I just know it :)

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Missy August 12, 2010 at 11:42 am

this is very encouraging to see how quickly God responded to your request. I hope that he continues to take you out of your box and into many more blessings.
since i am in a season of not getting any answers from god, this inspires me to keep waiting and looking for my answers in all of the uncomfortable or unlikely places.
thanks for your post!

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Shannon Primicerio August 12, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Missy: God hasn’t always answered me that quickly. I’ve been praying for several years for Him to open doors for my next book contract. So keep asking–sometimes He has to make us ready for His answers first :)

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Randelle August 15, 2010 at 9:20 am

This post was certainly a blessing. I’m a recent graduate (two weeks today, recent) and have been having the hardest time finding a job. I’m generally a person who does not get scared easily, but I hate living in uncertainty, especially when I have about two weeks to move out of my current apartment and have no clue where I will move to when I leave. Maybe God has be in this uncomfortable situation for a reason. I will definitely be doing some extra praying this week…

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