I am not twenty something…I am late forty something. This issue continues at times. BUT, I have learned some things along the way. I have learned that to be in a place where I am totally known and participating in being known by God I have to be totally honest with myself and with God. Not sorta, no kind of, I mean totally, completely, maybe even painfully honest. You see, that’s what we want, isn’t it? I am not talking brutality in the honesty…it can be done in love, but if we want to be in that place of “realness” with God, we have to be willing to go there ourselves.
The first tme I remember this, I was in a place where I was scared, I was hurt, and and I was mad. At God. I railed at Him, I screamed, I cried until I was completely broken. Then, I felt so gulity that I had been so real with God. I felt guilty that I had not revered Him and His holiness. And yet, for the first time, I felt like I was in the place I needed to be with God. The funny thing is, He revealed some things to me that could only be done where there was a give and take with honesty. I was in a place to actual hear what was being said to me. I needed to hear it. But our God did something else wonderful, He reminded me of His love for me. He reminded me that I can come to Him at all times.
I will say that it does not always come easily. I had to deal with my own behavior towards God for a while. (That came from my upbringing to respect my elders…not from God.) It didn’t feel right but I think the fact that my reverence for Him was an issue for me made the relationship deepen. I knew that He was God and I am not. Don’t ask me why that was such a revelation, but it was and it was so good for me to get into my head. I knew then, that I could come to God and be real with Him. Things don’t always change, I don’t always feel better or understood, but I do feel known by Him. And I can wait for the feeings to follow.
Annie,
I want to thank you for your vlog!! Thank you for your honesty!!! I felt the same way. It’s hard to walk around knowing one thing in your head but not being able to feel it. I don’t know about anyone else but for me, if I’m not feeling it then somehow it doesn’t seem as real to me, know matter what my head is telling me. It’s hard to talk to other people and encourage them sometimes even if you know what your saying is true, when your not feeling it.
I pray for all of us that that realization would come to fruition for all of us. That our feelings would catch up to the knowledge we already have and that we would have renewed hope in that fact that even when other people don’t know us, God does and that he will fill us with that feeling. That the feeling would match what we already know!
Thank you again and God Bless!
With Love,
Bethany
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I am not twenty something…I am late forty something. This issue continues at times. BUT, I have learned some things along the way. I have learned that to be in a place where I am totally known and participating in being known by God I have to be totally honest with myself and with God. Not sorta, no kind of, I mean totally, completely, maybe even painfully honest. You see, that’s what we want, isn’t it? I am not talking brutality in the honesty…it can be done in love, but if we want to be in that place of “realness” with God, we have to be willing to go there ourselves.
The first tme I remember this, I was in a place where I was scared, I was hurt, and and I was mad. At God. I railed at Him, I screamed, I cried until I was completely broken. Then, I felt so gulity that I had been so real with God. I felt guilty that I had not revered Him and His holiness. And yet, for the first time, I felt like I was in the place I needed to be with God. The funny thing is, He revealed some things to me that could only be done where there was a give and take with honesty. I was in a place to actual hear what was being said to me. I needed to hear it. But our God did something else wonderful, He reminded me of His love for me. He reminded me that I can come to Him at all times.
I will say that it does not always come easily. I had to deal with my own behavior towards God for a while. (That came from my upbringing to respect my elders…not from God.) It didn’t feel right but I think the fact that my reverence for Him was an issue for me made the relationship deepen. I knew that He was God and I am not. Don’t ask me why that was such a revelation, but it was and it was so good for me to get into my head. I knew then, that I could come to God and be real with Him. Things don’t always change, I don’t always feel better or understood, but I do feel known by Him. And I can wait for the feeings to follow.
Annie,
I want to thank you for your vlog!! Thank you for your honesty!!! I felt the same way. It’s hard to walk around knowing one thing in your head but not being able to feel it. I don’t know about anyone else but for me, if I’m not feeling it then somehow it doesn’t seem as real to me, know matter what my head is telling me. It’s hard to talk to other people and encourage them sometimes even if you know what your saying is true, when your not feeling it.
I pray for all of us that that realization would come to fruition for all of us. That our feelings would catch up to the knowledge we already have and that we would have renewed hope in that fact that even when other people don’t know us, God does and that he will fill us with that feeling. That the feeling would match what we already know!
Thank you again and God Bless!
With Love,
Bethany
Where can I find the post that you are referring to?
great post!!!
Amy, there’s a link for it under the video. Wow, this really hit me right where I am, thank you.