Ali shares about overcoming fears.

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When I was a junior in college, I found myself homeless. The apartment I’d reserved before I left for a missions trip wasn’t ready when I returned. They mailed a notice, but since I couldn’t check it from Europe, I came home with one month to find a place to live.

My campus minister and his wife opened their home. I thought I’d only share their daughter’s room, but I became part of their family. They lived out their faith, loved each other and resolved conflict. It was new for me to see a family flourish. For the first time, God ignited in me a hope and desire for marriage and family.

Maybe you grew up with this desire. I didn’t. My family experience left me skeptical, doubting that a marriage could last; three marriages {per parent}, single parent years, and sexual and emotional abuse. Why should I expect marriage to be filled with anything but disappointment and failure?

Determined to make life feel ‘normal,’ I took on extra responsibilities at home and tried to be the optimal student. Performance and perfection hid my insecurity and provided verbal affirmation… from family and God. If I performed well, God liked me. If not, shame and good works made up for my failure.

I avoided dating, afraid God would be disappointed if I messed up in a relationship. Although I desired to love and be loved, marriage didn’t seem worth the risk of ruining my righteousness I’d worked so hard to ‘earn.’

Do you see the missing link? The one that holds truth and love together? We don’t have to perform to earn God’s love. It’s not something that comes and goes, like my stepparents. Or my feelings of security. The fear I had that all love was fleeting was a lie.

In this confusion, God worked on my heart. Living with this family gave me faith for new hopes and dreams. After two years of healing {and growing in knowledge of God’s love}, I met my husband, Clayton. I was still guarded, but his kindness and love for who I was {not what I had to offer} broke down my walls.

God’s allowed this girl {from dysfunction} and her husband {illegitimate and adopted} to love each other for 13 years in a committed, thriving marriage. Only His unconditional love could help us defy statistics. So we wrote a book together, 12 Questions to Ask Before You Marry, because we believe if He could do it for us, He can do it for you!

Something Else…

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear expects punishment. The person who is afraid has not been made perfect in love. We love because God first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19 {CEB}

This week you have a chance to enter a giveaway for Charie and Clayton’s book, 12 Questions To Ask Before You Marry. Leave a comment with your email below and we will contact the winner on Friday!

Jack Johnson’s Angel

Charie King loves quaint downtown galleries, honest friendships and veggie flatbread sandwiches. Keep up with her through 12 Questions to Ask Before You Marry, and www.charieking.com. To have Charie speak at your event check out www.crossroadsworldwide.com.

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Nicki shares about tears in this week’s {vlog}.

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I used to be a hoarder. For years I stored tears far from the eyes of anyone else. I simply refused to cry. Stock piling my tears started with one little tooth.

“Just tilt your head back, close your eyes and I’ll yank it out on the count of three…ready? 1…2…3!”

I was only six. Too little for that sharp surge of pain that rushed through my mouth. So of course it was only natural I burst into tears.

“You big cry baby!” That’s my dad for you. The big heroic tooth extractor laughed.

All I could do was whimper amid muffled sobs, “But it hurts!” I nursed the gaping hole in my gums with a soggy paper towel. My historic moment of bravery turned into one pathetic flop. I had proved myself an official wimp.

That sealed the deal. Crying became a strictly private and pretty much non-existent affair… even into my adult years. Any time I felt tears, like a dam about to burst, I forced them to stay where I thought they belonged: hidden deep within my soul for no one else to see.

When I stumbled across these two treasured lines my perspective on crying changed:

You [LORD] have collected all my tears in your bottle
You have recorded each one in your book. {Psalm 56:8}

I couldn’t believe it. Someone else wanted to store my tears! In a far better place than the corners of my heart. Isn’t it cool to think each droplet we’ve shed over our twenty-some years of experiences {including losing our first tooth} has been collected in a precious bottle? Held near and dear to our Father’s heart?

You see, God doesn’t laugh when we cry. He doesn’t tell us to toughen up or turn the page on our tears like they don’t exist. Instead, He picks us up on His lap and wraps us in His loving arms as we pour out our hearts to Him. Our Lord loves for us to let Him in on our deepest felt emotions.

Whatever your tears are about right now–unanswered prayers… unmet promises… uncertainties of life–they are seen and saved by the One who comforts and cares for our every need. If you’re a tear hoarder, may I encourage you? Open the floodgate of your heart and release your tears, sit quietly with the Lord and… listen. Journal. Or take a walk and give your tears to Him. His bottle is open and ready to catch every single one.

Something Else…

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” {2 Corinthians 1:3-4}

Nothing lifts Ali’s mood in the winter months like getting cozy in her favorite coffee shop with a good book and grande skinny latte…extra hot. Hang out with Ali at www.alismithonline.com.

Check in with Ali over at She Seeks.

Julianna checks in this week about Nicki’s {inspirational entry}.

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Unanswered emails. Unreturned phone calls. Invitations that needed a RSVP.

I never meant for life to get so chaotic but…it did.

The other day I ran into a friend who’d sent me one of those invites. Which I hadn’t responded to, thank-you-very-much.

With her eyes slanted, brows raised, she heartily dosed out the I’m irritated with you vibe. I blurted out apologies for not RSVPing, tried to justify my actions and… well, you can imagine the scene.

It was obvious, my lack of response had hurt her.

Truth was, she probably wasn’t the only one I’d hurt. It made me think of the dozens of others I’d unintentionally blown off due to a “chaotic schedule.”

I felt rotten.

There’s no way I can be there for everyone all the time, but there’s gotta be some balance in my delayed response. Sometimes I think we become so focused on all the things we can’t do that we fail to see what we can do.

During a quiet moment, I came across this Word and it motivated me to make changes:

“Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men.” ~Colossians 3:23

This verse challenged me to think about my responsiveness, or lack of it.

“Whatever may be your task…”

Responsiveness matters as much to the friend who just wants to say “hi” as it does to the co-worker who invites me to her big shin-dig.

“…work at it heartily (from the soul)…”

Responsiveness moves me to care deeply for others.

“…as [something done] for the Lord and not for men.”

Responsiveness helps me stay focused on being a good representation of Jesus.

Life isn’t going to slow down. But there are some things I can do to make a better effort to be responsive.

Here are 3 ways we can do to become better responders:

1. Take ten minutes in the morning [after some time with God] to go through emails, text messages, fb notifications, tweets…etc. Prioritize what requires immediate attention and what can wait. Begin drafts for emails that need a longer response and delete messages you’re done with.

2. Don’t get sucked in to being constantly connected. Continual communication can run you dry. Get back to people in a timely manner, but remember, timely doesn’t always mean five seconds after a message is received.

3. Do what you can do in a day and then be done. Understanding our limits is important in developing a healthy system of responsiveness. If we continually stay overwhelmed with chaotic schedules, we won’t be able to do anything well.

Our response matters. We can make a difference in this world by being a person who responds to others well.

Related Resource…

I used to be so Organized by Glynnis Whitwer

Nicki Koziarz is a woman who thrives off the 3 C’s of daily living: Coffee, Christ, and Creativity. www.nickikoziarz.com

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Check out Sarah’s video adding more thoughts to her inspirational entry: {rearranging resolutions}

 Click here to view the video

***Hey everyone! It’s Sarah again. I’ve got a life movement going on over on my blog encouraging young adult women to RISE UP! and make Jesus famous in their life. I would love for you to join in with other twentysomethings as we engage  and encourage each other to RISE UP!

I’m not one to tackle New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it’s fear of failure or intimidation. But looking back over 2011, I see things I wish I’d done, but didn’t. So this year I’m determined to accomplish a few things.

Here is what I jotted down in my journal to start on my personal goals:

In 2012, I want to achieve. I want to prosper. I want to create… cultivate eliminate grow love … I want… I want… I want…

The more I wrote, the more confused I got over what my goal should be: plain and simple. As I re-read my journal, this verse came to mind.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.” ~Isaiah 55:8

I laid my pen down and paused to hear God’s take on this verse … and my resolutions. I imagined Him saying: Your goals are so vast. I see what you want, but there is ONE main focus you need to consider…

You see, my long list of “wants” is exciting for a new year. But my wants make it difficult to focus on the one thing that’ll make 2012 a success: time with Jesus.

So I simplified my goals, shifted my focus and wrote this simple prayer: Lord, help me see the one thing You want me to focus on this year. Help me put aside all my dreaming and take up Your priority for my life.

Then I merged my goal and His for 2012: Allow the glory and purposes of Jesus to increase in my life while my personal agenda decreases (John 3:30).

Life moves quickly. Once we start a New Year it’s difficult to stop and evaluate where we stand. I’m hoping my one simple goal will keep me focused. I’m looking toward 2012 as a year of excitement and success based on the Lord’s plans for me, rather than the grand concoctions I dream up.

Hope you’ll join me…

1) Write out your personal goals for 2012.

2) Take some time praying and hand your goals to the Lord.

3) Merge yours and the Lord’s resolutions into one, simple goal.

Share your goal and let’s encourage each other to live out 2012 with our focus on the Lord.

Something else…

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD… {Jeremiah 29:11-14a}

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. {Colossians 3:1-2}

Sarah Martin rarely misses a good Sunday afternoon nap and wears a pony tail whenever possible. Check out Sarah’s blog at www.liveitoutblog.com.

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Samantha shares hope based on Annie’s {inspirational entry} on making the best of it.

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In my mind’s eye I see the sidewalk outside my third grade classroom. Twenty or so macaroni picture frames are laid out in a line. It wasn’t the elbow macaroni, that would have been SO 1987. This was 1989 and we used seashell pasta. Cause we were modern. And sophisticated.

They were spray-painted a metallic gold that made me feel rich and hurt my eyes. I liked it. The golden seashells were glued to a square made of popsicle sticks and green yarn was attached for hanging on the Christmas tree.

Pop a third grade picture of me in the middle — awful haircut, crooked teeth, striped sweater — and you’ve got one fine Christmas ornament.

To this day it hangs on my Christmas tree. Just saw it there last month.

I taught school for five years and one of the highlights was the Christmas craft. I wanted those children to take home an ornament that would last twenty years. That would remind them of elementary school. Of the safety of childhood. Of the security of being nine. {I also needed an excuse to spray-paint macaroni.}

Do you know I mean? That childhood feeling, “If I could just go back to when I spray-painted macaroni, my life would be SO much easier.” For most of us, elementary school was an easier time — no bills, no worries about changing the oil or washing clothes. I didn’t wonder if or when I would marry.

My biggest worry in 1989 was not breaking any pieces of macaroni on the bus ride home.

Tough life.

And sometimes, I’ll be honest, I would give anything to go back {minus the poodle haircut because y’all have NEVER seen a thing like it — plain awful}. I want to feel the comfort and safety of life as a kiddo. In my heart, I don’t really mean that, but there are days I wish my deepest concern involved pretty pasta, not the size of my bank account.

I’m reminded of one of those scriptures that gets plastered on every object {probably even ornaments}:

Psalm 118:24, “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

I need to remember how true this verse is. TODAY is the day the Lord has made. Today I’m an adult. Today I can be thankful for the cares I have for it means I’m alive. Today I get to rejoice and be glad.

Christmastime brings a sense of nostalgia, allowing us to reminisce about times {bad haircuts} gone by. And I hope and pray, now that Christmas has passed, you’ll take a minute and be glad for today. Whatever your today looks like.

Rejoice in today. Fondly remember yesterday. And spray-paint macaroni whenever you get the chance.

Something else…

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. ~Psalm 118:24

Annie Downs has a stash of seashell pasta and popsicle sticks, should the need arise to get crafty. Read more at annieblogs.com.

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